Somethings Changed.

A long, long over due explanation of absence is near. but first, let me tell you a story. My best friend asked me a question yesterday, that to anyone else may seem strange - but this is generally the direction of our conversations, strange and weird and wonderful. She asked me if there was one question I'd never been asked, but have been desperate to answer. (she blows my mind a lot of the time too.)

"Are you happy?"

 

That was the first thing that popped into my head. Two years ago I decided I wasn't happy. I was miserable, all the sadness and guilt and pain was anchoring me in a sea of negativity. So right there in a sufficiently unspectacular moment, i decided to change. I changed my thoughts, the way I loved, the way i woke up every morning. I changed it all & flooded my heart and life with light and love and happiness. blogging was a big part of that, connecting with people who had good intentions and kind words, a community of creatives who spread all good, happy, bright things. (So thankyou!) It began small, and it was a conscious effort, it took a while, but now it's almost effortless.
I can honestly say that I am Happy. every single day I am happy.

 

"Are you in love with your life?"

 

Now first let me say I think you can be happy, but not in love with your life. I think you can seek joy and happiness in every moment, but I think there is a different kind of peace that comes when you really fall in love with your life. and had I my best friend and I been having this conversation three months ago, this question would of never crossed my mind. but as soon as the question had burst into thought, I knew the answer. "Yes! Yes, Yes, Yes!" I am so in love with my life.

 

And so here it is. the reason I've been absent or MIA or missing from the pages of this blog. I am in love with my life. but in falling in love with it, I've realised I have to let go of certain things. I was driving myself into a wall - straddling two worlds, creativity and teaching. not being able to give either 100%, both were suffering. I wasn't in love with either of them anymore. "You can do anything but not everything." Bold words. so I made a bold move. I jumped, I committed and I fell in love with my life. I chose teaching, I enrolled in further study and put my entire heart (100% of it!) into my classroom.  and I am so. damn. happy.

 

But that's just it.. "You can do anything, but not everything.." So I'm letting go, just for a little while. I still have big plans and dreams and ideas for this space. But right now my heart is somewhere else. and it's just not fair to string you along. If you miss me you can find me over here on instagram.

 

But for now, Here's to best friends, an amazing community & falling in love with your life.

illustration by mer mag